The Edge of Reason
by cheekybby
Summary: After the prank Sirius is shunned and alone. He stands on the roof to contemplate his situation. I own nothing. R&R!


**Authors Note:** oooh an authors note. Can't say I have done one of these before…

Anyway.

My story is about Sirius after he tells Snape about Reamus. The song I used was Tokio Hotel's Rescue Me and I own nothing so please don't sue me!!

Standing on the Edge.

I am standing kind of close to the edge. I should back away but I don't. I grip the railing tighter and peer over. No one is looking up. They never do. You would think that they would. That they would be shocked and cry out. They do that in stories but this isn't a story. It's real life.

_This used to be our secret_

_Now I'm hiding here alone_

_Can't help but read our names on the wall_

_And wash them off the stone_

I can feel the cold Scotland air on my face. The soft breeze gently brushes my hair. I can see the lights of the castle blinking up at me. Almost warning me. The grounds are so vibrant. So full of life that is crushes my heart.

_I trusted you in every way_

_But not enough to make you stay_

_Turn around_

_I've lost my ground_

There is no life within me anymore. I am crying inside while I remain silent to the world. As if they would listen if I cried out. I am not required to speak anymore. I have lost that right. If I speak they ignore me and I know they will never answer me. I am a shell of my former self.

_Come and rescue me_

_I'm burning, can't you see_

_Come and rescue me_

_Only you can set me free_

_Come and rescue me_

_Rescue me_

_Rescue me_

My ears hear shouting in the courtyard below. My eyes see faint flashes of wands. Part of me wonders what is happening. Part of me doesn't care.

_We lied when we were dreaming_

_Our crying was just fake_

_I wish you could deny it_

_Here and today_

I move from class to class. Lesson to lesson. I hardly know where I am anymore. It all looks the same. I don't try to keep track. What's the point? I'm not sure that there is one. If there is I'm not interested. Not anymore.

_My SOS on radio _

_The only chance to let you know_

_What I fear_

_Can you hear?_

The settings change but my fate remains the same. I wander around alone. I know the girls are still chasing my shadow. They don't realise how big this fight is. They don't know. None of them do. One day we were talking. The next we weren't. Simple as that. I can't go back to the way it was. I cannot ever be part of their group. They have made that clear.

_Come and rescue me_

_I'm burning, can't you see_

_Come and rescue me_

_Only you can set me free_

_Come and rescue me_

_Rescue me_

_You and me_

_You and me _

_You and me _

This rooftop is silent. Just like me. I am as close to peace as I can reach up here. I can think. Lilly says I have isolated myself recently. More like they pushed me away. Not that I blame them. I didn't ask for it. I lost control for one split second. That one remark about my mother and I snapped. It just happened and now there is nothing I can do about it.

_The walls are coming closer_

_My senses fade away_

_I'm haunted by your shadow_

_I reach to feel your face_

_You're not here_

_Are you here?_

Sometimes, when I watch them, I wonder what they would think if they knew I spent so much time on the rooftops. I wonder if they would care. They have not noticed my absences in the last few months.. Surely, If they cared all those girls who supposedly "adore me" would of noticed something by now.

_Come and rescue me_

_Rescue me_

My gaze catches a Ravenclaw looking up at me from the courtyard below. I lean back slightly and she shakes her head and moves on up the path. People refuse to see what they don't want to. No matter how serious it could be.

_Come and rescue me_

_I'm burning, can't you see_

_Come and rescue me_

_Only you can set me free_

_Come and rescue me_

The marauders have been through so much. Overcome so many obstacles. We have so much to achieve. Part of me still wants to be a part of that. The railing is still cold under my pale hands. I release it slowly. I will never jump. I am not like that. I won't let the people who think I'm a failure know I am a coward too. I don't want to be rescued form here.

_Rescue me_

_You and me_

_You and me _

_Rescue me_

_You and me _

_Set me free_

_Rescue me_

I just come up here to assure myself that my black heart is indeed still beating.

**End of Story Notes.**

Any reviews are appreciated so I can try and improve. Thanks for reading. xx


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